dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
time to smoke my breakfast
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
