A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
