porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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