just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
