Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
