why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
