Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
