have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize