My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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