I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
