I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
wow bdsm is so cute
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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