Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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