so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
