No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
