His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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