I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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