We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
