I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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