got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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