I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
