she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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cat food counts as protein by the way
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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