you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
