id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
