Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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