My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
