God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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