I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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