you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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