I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just puked most of my soul out..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize