Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
