I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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