that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Houston, we have a blender
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
