i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
