you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
