Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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