It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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