I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN