i don't like sucking hair
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.