She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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