I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"