What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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