I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i barfeds in our rink
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize