Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
