Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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