i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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