I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
