And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
