I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
