there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
