I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
