I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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