i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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