How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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