Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
