Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
