He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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