how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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