are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
