Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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