if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
