How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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