there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
