I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
