The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Everyone says I win the strip club
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
