I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
