My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize